In December 2011 I photographed the Eclipse. It was the first time I’d attempted photos of the moon, it took me a long time to get a half decent shot but given I’d never attempted this kind of shot before I was pleased with my results.
The definition (noun) of an eclipse is “An obscuring of the light from one celestial body by the passage of another between it and the observer”.
I feel like my life was eclipsed this year. What started off as a desperate measure to get myself out of a bad work environment became a year of insights, trauma, discovery and truth. Our decision this year for me not to “work” was one of necessity and measure. It certainly wasn’t a flippant uneducated decision, it was exactly what I needed. I was given the gift of space, the space to actually take a moment and really uncover the layers. When do we ever take some time, REAL time for ourselves?
This year actually turned out to be a discovery of what I DIDN’T WANT in my life. In every aspect possible. A decision to live off less was scary, however now with hindsight, we’ve had everything we needed and most importantly I had the space to learn more about myself and start to heal from years of suppressed feelings, memories and emotions.
Life sends us little warning signs, little nudges that we need a break, change, lobotomy…. For me I had a giant kick up the ass because I hadn’t listened to the earlier more subtle signs.
A friend of mine recently said that she would never have made the decision I did to leave work at this time in my life but that she could see that I was getting results that no one could get running the rat race. I respected her honesty and it really affirmed my decision. How can you expect to get different results when you don’t change anything!!??
I used to care so much about what people thought, now I care about me.
The light shines differently in my world now… I feel much better prepared for whatever may come and more importantly able to continue making my dreams come true.