Something happens to you when you experience trauma, each of us reacts differently. Something shifts and changes and in that exact moment of trauma you know nothing else but that second, you are well and truly forced in the “now”. From there the most pure response is one that emerges from your soul. A wave of shock crashes over you and life will never be the same.
As you crawl out of this shock the world appears to be an ugly place. The small things don’t matter anymore and the other stuff is too big to comprehend so you’re just in pain. Facing that pain is something that is hard to do… its scary to let go and let it all wash over you because it feels as though you’ll never get back up. You protect yourself, in whatever shape or form that comes in, we protect ourselves. This can go on for days… weeks months or years.
In this protection zone you do and say things that you can’t really explain sometimes, I think its because we are desperate to grab some control back. Its ok, because, you’ve gotta do whatever it is you’ve got to do.
One day you notice a change in season, or perhaps that everyone is finally laughing and smiling again. It might only be for a short time but that’s okay, at least we are breaking free of that pain (if only for a moment) and the joy is starting to make its way back in.
Its at the other end of these traumas, we get to see something really clearly, it doesn’t seem fair that what happened is what it took to make you see it. The clarity seems so bright, slightly scary and, well – magnificent.